The time is coming.
The walls are closing in on me.
The screams and tears inside me are striving to get out.
I’m trying to smother them; to smother me.
Make me stop feeling.
How can you stop emotions?
Have you got any ideas where the switch might be?
So overwhelmed, I could burst.
Yet, I can sleep at night.
It’s not nightmare-proof though.
There we go again.
Go live in somebody else’s body, mind and soul; not mine.
I want to be a robot.
Act as programmed.
Be the perfect person.
Perfect wife, daughter, mother, sister.
But I can’t.
I’m human; only human and far from perfect.
I’m disillusioned and hurt.
I can’t heal my wounds.
I can’t heal myself.
I can’t do anything actually.
I just exist.
Sometimes the silence is deafening.
I only hear the voices in my head.
They’re making so much noise, I can’t stand it!
Then nothing; emptiness; void.
Who am I? What do I want?
Have I ever known? Will I ever….